Week 3 Storytelling: Hanuman’s Plan
There she is. I have finally found
Sita, but she is unkempt, undecorated and obviously in a state of despair. As I
looked on I watched the vile rakshasa women torment her and attempt to weaken
her spirit, but to no avail. Ravana approached Sita hoping she would finally
choose him, but she rejected him. I know now that this woman is worthy of Rama,
and does not deserve the treatment she has received from Ravana and the
rakshasa. They will pay for this. I slipped down to let her know that Rama
continues to fight for her, and I believe I saved her life as she attempted to
take it herself. I cannot believe the mental torment Ravana has brought upon
this precious woman! He must pay!
In my rage
I find myself desiring to destroy the kingdom of Ravana. Perhaps I can devise a
plan to stir up strife within his kingdom. As I grow to a massive stature I am
tearing through the Asoka Vana and destroying parts of Lanka. Ravana has sent
an army of rakshasa against me, but they are nothing for my enormous strength.
I feel as if I could take on Ravana himself! One by one the rakshasa attack,
and one by one they fall before me. As they attempt to take me down I find
myself wishing I could come face to face with Ravana himself, and then it dawned
on me, “I need to allow them to capture me!” I had already destroyed the entire
army, but knowing Ravana he would send more. I continued my destruction of
Lanka, but began decreasing in size and strength to allow for my capture.
 |
| Hanuman destroying Lanka |
At last,
more rakshasa have come for me. None other than Indrajit, Ravana’s son, bound
and captured me (only because I allowed him to do so). I cannot wait to come
face to face with Ravana and cause him to fear Rama. “I hope you know that
Ravana will bring your life to a very painful end you foolish monkey,” Indrajit
said as we marched towards Ravana’s palace. “I do not fear what he will do to
me, rather I fear what Rama will do to all of your kind!” I shouted back at him
as we climbed the last steps towards the palace.
 |
| Hanuman being held captive |
There he
sat atop the throne. Ravana. The vile demon that had cause so much pain to my
dear friend Rama. It took all my focus not to allow myself to lash out at
Ravana on the spot. Rama deserved to put an end to him, and I would not allow
myself to rob him of that. Visibly angry Ravana looked towards me and attempted
to calmly speak “Who is it that sent you to torment this land? I replied, “the
almighty Rama. The one who has slain hundreds of asura, the husband of Sita
whom you wrongly kidnapped, and the man who will put an end to your life!” As I
saw Ravana twitch I felt a slight sense of guilt. “Perhaps you should change
your ways in order to preserve your life and the lives of all the rakshasa!
Surely Rama will wipe you all out if you do not return Sita and seek forgiveness
for your actions.” Ravana could no longer contain himself. He erupted with a
violent anger, “NO MORTAL CAN DEFEAT ME!” he shouted, and then ordered my
death.
As Indrajit
and the other rakshasa drew their weapons to execute me I decided to remove
myself from their capture and report back to Rama. There was obviously no
reasoning with Ravana, and Sita would only be saved if he were slain. With all
my might I shredded the ropes that bound me and grew once more to a size that
would strike fear in the heart of any who saw me. In my anger towards Ravana I
decided to reduce his capital to rubble as I returned to Rama. No building
shall be left standing in that vile creatures land. He will be the ruler of
nothing before long, and the rakshasa will have nothing to return to. I must
report to Rama all that has happened.
Authors note:
I decided to write this storytelling post from the point of
view of Hanuman since he was the main character in this section of the story.
He alone goes to Ravana’s lands in search of Sita. Only Hanuman and the
rakshasa witnessed all the events that happened in Ravana’s kingdom. I thought
it interesting to delve into the mind of Hanuman. I was able to show his
devotion towards Rama, his thought process as he allowed himself to be
captured, and his anger towards Ravana when he couldn’t be reasoned with!
Bibliography:
Narayan, R.K. (1972) The Ramayana.
I just LOVED that this was told from Hanuman's perspective; he is probably my favorite character from the Ramayana. Considering that he was bouncing around at godly heights, he probably would have the most interesting take on everything. He saw a lot by himself that no one else from Rama's camp was there to witness. I think you did a great job 'getting into his mind' and portraying his thoughts and what he sees.
ReplyDeleteI noticed you switched from present to past tense throughout the story (e.g. "I have finally found Sita. . .", "As I looked on I watched. . .") It's easier to understand if all in past or present, or if the only times you use past tense are in reference to past events.
You could easily magnify the effect of some of your sentences, such as this one: "I cannot wait to come face to face with Ravana and cause him to fear Rama." That is simple and to-the-point--nothing wrong with it. But what about this: "I cannot wait to look into Ravana's many devilish eyes and instill the fear of Rama in his soul." Now that may be an overly dramatic example, but you get my point. Use some more descriptive words and you have yourself an even livelier story!
But that's not to say you didn't bring the story to life already. I could certainly see all the action, and I liked that you detailed Hanuman's encounter with Indrajit and Ravana, as well as all of Hanuman's thoughts and emotions throughout.
Another thing you could do for easier reading would be to make all dialogue sentences their own paragraphs. For example:
'"Perhaps you should change your ways in order to preserve your life and the lives of all the rakshasa! Surely Rama will wipe you all out if you do not return Sita and seek forgiveness for your actions.”
Ravana could no longer contain himself. He erupted with a violent anger, “NO MORTAL CAN DEFEAT ME!” he shouted, and then ordered my death.'
Also, did you mean to cut out Vibishana's plea with Ravana to free Hanuman (i.e. 'don't kill the messenger')? I actually think that part could really add something to your story, and I would be interested to see how you would re-tell that part.
Overall nicely done! I enjoyed reading this from Hanuman's view, and I think you captured him to a T. I almost wrote my story from his view as well, but changed my mind at the last minute, so I was really glad to see that you did yours this way :)
Hi Brandon! Your story is my favorite so far because it depicts the point of view of a very honorable and loyal friend of Rama: Hanuman. I have yet to read a story in Hanuman’s point of view so it was such an enjoyable read. The way you depicted his character was exactly how I picture the personality of Hanuman to be: loyal. He had the opportunity to kill Ravana, however, he decides not to rob Rama of that. I love that you talked about Sita’s mental state and how Hanuman felt so empathetic towards her. For some reason it continuously amazes me how Sita’s loyalty is questioned throughout every version of the Ramayana. It is an understandable question, however, it would be much different in today’s society because women are not taught to be submissive to men. Overall, your story was really great! I love that Hanuman intentionally shrunk in order to get closer to Ravana and then when he decided to leave he just grew in size again. What a wonderful power to have! The picture of Hanuman destroying Lanka is very vivid and goes great with your story.
ReplyDeleteHow’s it going Brandon! First of let me start of my saying that I like that background you chose for your blog. It has a nice old timey feel to it. I also checked all your links and they seem to be working fine with the labels and all. For a Suggestion, you should do all of the Blogger Tech-Tips to improve your Blogs appearance. I took Mythology and Folklore last year and the Tech tips definitely make your page look cooler than anyone else’s!
ReplyDeleteAbout your story: I thought that you did a great job with the retelling of the story from Hanuman’s perspective. You did a good showing Hanuman’s perspective and his emotion as he discovered Sita. His rage against Ravana was exactly what came to mind when I saw your first picture. For my last suggestion I would like to note that you should separate paragraphs when using direct speech just to make it easier to find and read. Other than that, I think that your story was great!
Hi! I really enjoyed how you wrote this part of the Ramayana in Hanuman's point of view. There were some issues with tenses (i.e., present tense and past tense in various paragraphs), but they still conveyed the story fine. One error that stuck out at me was in the fourth paragraph in the line "The vile demon had cause so much pain..." wherein it should be cause[d] instead of cause.
ReplyDeleteThe division of paragraphs was excellent, and it made the story very clear and coherent. The only issue is like Anthony said, which is using separate paragraphs for dialogue. Other than the tense and dialogue, this story was a great depiction of Hanuman's experiences at Lanka.
As for the formatting and style of your blog, I think the presentation is nice. I personally have problems viewing light text on dark background, but the use of a gray background isn't as bad. Overall, I think your site looks great, and I look forward to seeing the presentation of your storybook!
Hey, I really enjoyed your story, this is interesting because it is coming from Hanuman's perspective. Also the fact that you used Hanuman's perspective but showed how loyal he is towards Rama. In the beginning of the paragraph, you described the way Hanuman viewed Sita, which I thought was important because it showed how observant Hanuman is and how he thinks about Rama's feelings when he knew Sita was in despair being captured. Then in the middle of the story where Hanuman and Ravana battled, I liked the way you set the tensions there. The violent screaming and anger, it made me feel like I was reading Hercules or some greek mythology book!
ReplyDeleteI also liked how you wrote in paragraphs, it was easier to read and was more fluent. You certainly know how to set the tensions in the story when you added the different dialogues of Hanuman and Ravana. Moreover, I enjoyed that you made Hanuman the main character of your story. I really liked Hanuman and he was my favorite character in the book. Also the pictures that are in your story are amazing, they remind me a lot of Greek mythology paintings, I can't seem to find Hindu god pictures like yours. Overall, I think your story is great! I don't see any major grammar issues or spelling errors. Most of it was easy to read and pretty fluent. I can easily pick out the theme and who is the main character in the story, it was choppy or confusing at all. This is probably one of the best stories I read for storytelling week 3 so far. I also liked the background of your blog page.
First of all, your storytelling was great! I was able to really grasp everyone’s emotions in this short story even though it was first person. Sometimes first person can be limiting when the character is guessing about the emotions of others, but your depiction of Hanuman made him appear very receptive to the feelings of the other characters. I never thought his statements were biased during the retelling of events.
ReplyDeleteThe flow of your paragraphs was also really good and never left me confused. The movement seemed very logical. My only suggestion would be to watch for the few minor grammar errors. For example, “No building shall be left standing in that vile creatures land.” You forgot to add an apostrophe to show possession in ‘creatures.’ Overall it was a great story and I look forward to reading more.